I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I want to fling myself into the sun
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
