That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
