His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
