We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize