I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
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