Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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