i may or may not be watching the land before time
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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