The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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