great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
