She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
