There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
40s are totally the cure
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
