so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
