I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
