I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
In America we eat man semen.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize