Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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