the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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