Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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