those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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