Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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