You really coming over, don't trick.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
