What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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