Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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