suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
3pm strippers are depressing
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize