just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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