Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
