I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I cut my penus on the lid.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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