Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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