Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
