i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i now understand why vodka
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
