I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize