ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
