you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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