So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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