You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
