His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
