She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
