It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
