Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
