she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
