OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We got so high we made milksteak
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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