Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
