yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
