Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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