Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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