and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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