do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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