I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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