her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I love having hate sex.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
