Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
