I wish I could teleport
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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