I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
how drunk are you?
Several
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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