I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
