Will you blow on my dice?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
