Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Plan B is the new Plan A
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
