would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I love having hate sex.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
