can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
