There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
