When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
