her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
