In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
