Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
