what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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